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Sometime ago, I posted some of my favorite one-liners. A few of my readers love it, that they even shared it in Face Book. Today, I am posting 13 more one liners to brighten your day.
1 Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
2 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
3.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
4.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
5.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
6. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
7. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
8. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
9. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
10. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
11. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
12. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
13. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
My favorite: What has baby diapers and politicians have in common? They need to be change frequently.
I hope this brightens your day!
Welcome to My Site
If this is your first visit, welcome! This site is devoted to my life experiences as a Filipino-American who immigrated from the Philippines to the United States in 1960. I came to the US as a graduate student when I was 26 years old. I am now in my early-80's and thanks God for his blessings, I have four successful and professional children and six grandchildren here in the US. My wife and I had been enjoying the snow bird lifestyle between US and Philippines after my retirement from USFDA in 2002. Please do not forget to read the latest national and International News in this site . I have also posted some of my favorite Filipino and American dishes and recipes in this site. Some of the photos and videos in this site, I do not own. However, I have no intention on infringing on your copyrights. Cheers!